Down Under Investigations
professional, discreet, trusted and passionate about obtaining the results you require.
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Bouncing Back From A Painful Breakup

The reality of life is that not all relationships will last forever. Most breakdown in relationships is painful. It is rare to see both parties end a relationship in a peaceful way.  Feelings of shame, regret, pain and loss are common.

We conduct surveillance for a whole range of issues, the most common being suspected cheating. Our clients span all genders, as infidelity and suspicions of cheating seem to not be confined to just one gender.

Many times, when meeting with clients and revealing the evidence of infidelity, there are tears and pain.

Whilst we are not accredited counsellors, thru our experience we have found some of the following tips to be useful to those who bear the pain of a breakup.

Retreat

This is often the most natural thing to do, and rightly so. Retreating and finding your safe place with safe people is a key to healing. It enables you to be you, without judgment and criticism as feelings need to be expressed in a supportive environment. Not everyone needs to know your pain and hurt, just those who you trust and truly love you. You are vulnerable after a breakup, so choose your place and people to retreat to very wisely.

Reconnect

Take some time to reconnect with family and friends you may have lost contact with during the course of your relationship. Parents and siblings can often be the greatest support when dealing with pain. They’ve known you the longest and you’ve already seen each other at your highest highs and lowest lows. Sharing some time and old stories together can be a key to dealing with current pain.

A friend from another city or town can be a great support also. Reach out and you’ll be surprised how old friends and family can be your strongest support.

Remit

Let go. Remit. Let go of pain. The best way to do this is to forgive, which is never easy. Forgiveness doesn’t deny you’ve been wronged and hurt, but it does help you move forward. Most of us know someone who has never gotten over a bad breakup. They have never let go of the pain. They have never forgiven the other person but have chosen to hold onto bitterness and feelings of revenge.

Holding onto hurt and unforgiveness will only hurt you. Sure, there’s a time for feeling hurt and grieving, but there is also a time to let go.

And don’t mistake forgiveness for trust. If someone stole cash from my wallet, I wouldn’t lend them my credit card or car. You don’t need to trust a person again, but you do need to forgive. It’s a process, and takes time, but is always worth it.

Refresh

Do something good for your physical self. What does your body need? Sleep? Exercise? Massage? Good nutrition? Spa treatment?

Care for your body and take care of your physical self. You are worth it.

Resolve

Feelings of regret and resentment are natural. “What if” I did this or that differently... “Why didn’t I” do this, say this, see this..

All natural questions at this time.

But don’t let those questions stop there. Use them to resolve what you could do, say, or see moving into your future. What can I learn? What are some warning signs? What character qualities do I seek in a future partner?

Write these answers down and resolve the things most important to you.

Refocus

This is a good time to check the balance in your own life. Also a good time to see where you are headed. Is there a career or hobby you want to pursue? Maybe a friendship you’ve neglected or family member you haven’t connected with for a long time?

Now is a great time to work out where you are headed in life and plan the steps you need to take to pursue your goals.

Retry

One bad breakup doesn’t need to define your thoughts on relationships in the future.

Not all men/women are cheaters. Not all are abusive.

Not all are liars, thieves, controlling, manipulative, and so on...

There are plenty of great people on the planet. People that are caring, faithful, loving and kind. Don’t write off all because of a bad experience. Get back out there and be your best self. There is the right person out there just for you.

Ryan Lim
Siblings Separated. Reunited after 50 Years.

In 1963 and 1965, two siblings entered the world. John and Sarah never knew each other although they shared the same mother. Their mother loved them but knew she could not support and raise one child, let alone two. She decided to put both these young lives up for adoption.

John and Sarah were taken in by two different loving families however they never had any further contact with each other.

At a young age, John moved interstate with his family as his new father had found a dream job. John was well cared for, went to a private school, joined the army and travelled to numerous countries. He made many friends around the world throughout his travels. He eventually settled back in Australia, married and started a family of his own.

Meanwhile, Sarah grew up a strong, confident woman. She loved her family and felt secure in who she was. She worked part time while completing university and found her career in law. Commencing as a trainee in a firm, she worked long hours and progressed through the company to a senior management role. After a string of failed relationships in her 20s and early 30s, Sarah married and started a family of her own.

Throughout their lives, both John and Sarah kept a deep desire to one day be united with their mother, and also each other.

John spent thousands of dollars with a Private Investigator looking for his mother and Sarah, however was unsuccessful.

Sarah contacted us in early 2014 in an effort to find her mother and brother. In the law firm where she was working, she had found through dealing with hundreds of family law cases that she felt some missing pieces in her life. She dreamed of one day being re-united. 

Down Under Investigations met with Sarah and she gave us all the information she had. We immediately set about finding John and their mother. After weeks of our agents searching, we found John. When we advised Sarah, she was utterly amazed.

John and Sarah have told us that their reunion was simply amazing. Their similarities are unmistakable and they know that they will now be a part of each others lives forever. 

Down Under Investigations continue looking for their mother and we hope one day, to reunite this family in its entirety.

*Names changed for privacy reasons and stories of John and Sarah used with their permission.

Ryan Lim
Myth Busting Missing People

Every year, more than 38,000 Australians go missing. Of this 38,000, around half (44%) are found within the next 48 hours. However, of the remaining missing persons, 1600 often remain long term missing persons.

This is 1600 people too many, and we at Down Under Investigations want to help reduce this number.

But how do you ensure people don’t go missing? How can you help? Well, we have a few tips on how to ensure that your loved ones don’t go missing.

There are two reasons why a person goes missing.

The first, is because of choice.

Contrary to popular belief, many people actually choose to go missing. It can be because of suicidal thoughts, due to Alzheimer’s disease or even absconding. Many people feel as though the world will be better without them, so they take it upon themselves to remove themselves from the society they live in.

This is because some people are not receiving the proper assistance they need in their current situation. So if someone in your world needs assistance in any of these areas, ensure that they do, before they go missing. You might prevent them ever even considering running away.

The second reason as to why someone could go missing, is because they have no choice.

Many people that go missing are victims of crime, violence and mishaps, and believe that this is the only way to escape. This again comes from a feeling of being unable to speak up. So, if you know someone who is a victim of crime, be their voice. Help them get into contact with the correct authorities, and help them through their time of need, because you might prevent them running away.

Many people result to running away because they feel as though they can’t talk about it.  
So in order to look after your loved ones and assist in the never going missing,  talk to them. Listen to them. Help them in any and every way you possibly can before it’s too late.

Let’s start conversations, help our loved ones, and reduce the number of people going missing.

If you, or anyone you know is missing, please contact the police on 000 as your first point of call.

Simon & Sarah
Welcome to the Down Under Investigations Blog!

In our blog we’ll be taking a look behind the scene of our company and industry. We’ll be bringing new content every couple of weeks, so be sure to check us out.

Some of the things we’ll be bringing you include real life cases, lessons learned, who we are and sharing the different ways of how a private investigator can be part of your everyday life and business.

There is so much mystery surrounding the life and profile of a private investigator. Some movies and TV shows portray us as gun-slinging stand overs and bullies, while others depict us as slimy, creepy, dark corner lurkers. Depending on the movie or show, we’re either some sort of superhero or the villain.

As much as we don’t like to admit it, a real life and contemporary private investigator is far less ‘Hollywood’ than you may think.

We are husbands and wives, and parents and children. We live in the city, we live in the country. We are your neighbours, fellow commuters, cafe companions and sports team fans.

Private investigators come from a whole range of different countries and cultures. To say that the profession is male dominated is far from the truth. Statistics show that 55% of private investigators in Australia are female. Our own team come from vast backgrounds including ex-police, military, security operatives as well as others that have come from the fitness, legal, teaching, science and IT industries.

There really is no defined “profile” of a private investigator. We are normal people, just like you. We possess an inquisitive mind, a “never give up” attitude, an ability to process information quickly and make calculated decisions as well as a determination to find out the truth and get results.

Each day and each file brings with it a unique set of problems to solve, information to gather, scenarios to navigate and personalities to negotiate. Some files require great phone skills, others need strong face to face communicators, while others may need diligent note takers and report writers and yet other files may need an online genius. Whether knocking on someone’s door, making that crucial phone call, following in a vehicle or simply observing the movement of a person, a private investigator must be willing and ready to adapt to the requirements of each operation.

So take a look around. That person sitting next to you in traffic, that lady on the train reading the paper, that man at the cafe looking at his phone, could they be a private investigator? You never, never know…

In our upcoming posts, we’ll be sharing some real real life files, including a very surprising outcome from a surveillance operation, the joys of a family reunited after an overseas search and answer any questions you send through to us.

Also next week, we’ll be launching our very own podcast - so make sure you keep an eye on our social media to stay up to date.

Ryan Lim